Dealing with Pain after Abortion

Learning to cope.

The emotional pain is different for each person.

Reminders of a past abortion pain often arrive unexpectedly, activating a deep and forgotten hurt. The emotional pain often different for each person, but the hurt is real. Pregnancy Resource Center is available to all women who experience after abortion pain.  Our consultants are available to listen, cry,  and offer assistance to move forward if you are having difficulty moving forward after your abortion.  Many of us have experienced similar pain and know how difficult it is.  We’re here to help.  No judgement, no condemnation, just a friend who has been where you are can walk you through.

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My first after abortion trigger came 7 months after my abortion – on my child’s due date. I never connected the horrendous evening I spent locked in a dorm room crying as the night I should have been giving birth to my child. I thought I was losing my mind as there was no obvious reason for such an intense emotional reaction.

The next morning my eyes were swollen shut from crying. I went to the campus health center in a deeply demoralized state and discovered I had pink eye. But my inner pain was not related to that infection. For many months I felt like I was on the verge of insanity. Eleven years later I read about how abortion can cause long-term trauma for some women. I was relieved to discover the reason for the angst a felt every year around the third week in March when my child should have been celebrating a birthday. I came to think of that time as post traumatic stress from my abortion. Embracing an abortion recovery program brought peace back into my soul.

Once I realized this date was a trigger to my pain, I was able to tame that trigger and plan ways to cope. Here are six options to offset obvious triggers of abortion-related stress:

  • Document your trigger dates on a calendar– If you have had more than one abortion, or don’t remember exact dates, don’t worry. Record dates when you felt depression or experienced pain that seemed to have no source.
  • Develop distraction strategies– Sitting in a dentist’s office, overhearing the drilling sound, can transport me back to that abortion clinic where I hear the sound of the machine that sucked my child out of my body. Realizing that truth, I now arrive at these appointments with a headset to listen to worship music to offset any triggering noises.
  • Control your anger– You may become irritable when you hear individuals promote abortion as “safe and legal.” Deep seated anger can even result as our abortion wound erupts.
  • Writing out your story– Reviewing your life experiences can help you realize how unexpected pregnancy and an abortion decision became part of your story.
  • Pray– The Creator of the Universe offers the best comfort. Seek Him with an open heart and a sincere, “Help me, God” prayer.
  • Discover Supportive Friends– Others have walked this path and are ready to walk with you as you journey to recovery. Pregnancy Resource Center has support groups led by experienced facilitators. If you haven’t completed an abortion recovery program, now is the time to consider one.

This post is adapted from content that originally appeared on Sydna Masse’s Blog